One

 No one tells you what it will be like. 

Today I observed. I sat and stood. My words clipped and I realized while I am surrounded by others, it's easier to stay quiet. Don't allow them to see the anger, the helplessness. 

Her words cascade over me like a vice. 

You have to be strong for me. 

Today I managed, 

I pulled at my reins 

before allowing myself to shatter, 

for when I do 

it will be a symphony. 

So instead I am a stone. I walk alone. 

I wonder how her mind is reacting, how she feels. But I already know. I have looked into those eyes, and I have heard the words that I can't comfort. 

She looks at me with fear.

I'm scared. she says.

My mother was scared. She is the one who would turn on the lights when I was too scared to be consumed by the dark, she was the one to remove the spiders while I screamed in fright. She was the one to remove my fears. 

Now I am a stone, a hollow shadow. 

I don't know how to comfort you, because I don't know how.

These are uncharted waters for me. 

So instead I show up. 

That's all I know how to do. 

I'll stand in your corner. 

I am here.